Please hold my bra while I get on with my evening

After dinner my husband was on his way upstairs to put out little daughter to bed. I suddenly had an urge…

ME: Oh wait! Can you please bring my bra upstairs!

I take it off and throw it at him.

ME: CATCH!

HUSBAND: Great, thanks?

ME: Nice catch. Why so shocked?

HUSBAND: No, nothing. Nothing surprises me.

ME: You should just be happy it wasn’t a tampon.

HUSBAND: As I said, nothing would surprise me.

Good thing I’m cute.

Living in the desert is greener than you think

When I mention that I live in the Middle East people tend to think that I live in a sandpit, in a desert. Which is not wrong. We are surrounded by sand and we get reminded if we just drive a few minutes out of the main cities. Once outside of Dubai the sand dunes starts growing and we can definitely see that we are in fact in the desert. We also get our fair share of sandstorms that makes us chew sand for days.

But there is another side to the Middle East that a lot of people haven’t discovered yet and it’s the amazing cities like Abu Dhabi, Dubai in United Arab Emirates, Doha in Qatar, Muscat in Oman and Manama in Bahrain. Yes, a LOT of effort and water have to be managed in order to keep these cities green. Sustainable (and unsustainable) options are being looked in to to ensure they stay this way as well.

Below my dog is having a morning zen moment, enjoying the view and the quietness. Well, until another dog came that she tried to kill in order to protect her family.

She also has a love for jumping in to hedges and stay there.

Our area is surrounded by several man made lakes and greenery to make sure that we think we don’t live in the desert. It works pretty well up until this time of year when the heat are coming and it’s getting tough to be outside. Mornings and evenings are still nice. 7 am is about 26 degrees (80 Fahrenheit). Deodorant is turning in to an item that goes with you and on you everywhere. We sweat more than sauna lovers. At least that’s something that makes me feel right at home, as a Scandinavian.

How do you like your M&Ms?

The other morning my husband got out of bed and when he stood up I saw that he had an empty (unfortunately) bag of M&Ms stuck to his butt cheek. Can the day start any better than that? He never looked more beautiful.

It was quiet a sight seeing something semi hairy standing up and while walking away from the bed trying to make sense of what was making a strange noice while moving. He took a step, looked behind him, took another step, looked behind him on the other side. It was almost as entertaining as watching a dog chase it’s tail. You just sit there and enjoy being the smartest one in the room. For once.

Who ate the chocolate in bed and why the paper was on his side of the bed is not interesting. No need to be pointing fingers.

To Recycle or To Reconsider ?

A friend of mine kindly send me these pictures and now I can’t sleep. Which is good considering I’m going to work.

A Facebook group called “Recycle, Reuse, Restore” posted the brilliant idea of how to use old dolls as indoor plant accessory instead of throwing them away when your kids don’t want them anymore.

All I here is Sting “…every step you take, every breath you make, I’ll be watching you…”

The poop diaries and a weekend stroll

* Public service announcement for sensitive people. This post contains poop. If you are eating, please continue to read *

Ignore that. It was me being mean. The poop part is true though. I therefore put in a nice picture of flower. To start of positive. You can stop reading now and enjoy your day. If you are feeling brave. Please continue.

One of the exciting new things that you get to experience as a new parent is the presence of poop. Discussions of poop. And smelling of poop. Before I had children I would wonder about the obsession from parents about this subject and the extremely annoying smelling of the babies butt.

Without giving away too many details, this is now my reality. Yesterday during a barbecue my husband smelled my daughters butt about five times during two minutes. Just to make sure. Was there something? Maybe. Maybe not? But I’m sure I smelled something. Or was it just a fart? It was like a freakin wine tasting with a twist.

To add to my life of poop, I adopted a rescue dog from the streets of Dubai. Well, I found her under a car, shaking like a little leaf, is more like the truth. After a few days she decided to come out. I saw she had a heart shape pattern on her forehead and decided she was mine. That’s adoption. I think.

This morning when I was walking with my baby in the stroller. Who just had a change of pajama as she needed to poop all over herself just before we left the house for the walk. My dog suddenly decided to squat down doggie style right outside a huge mansion with a design of absolutely – nothing – except – gold – is – good – as a drive way theme. Yeah, it’s a Dubai thing. Believe me, you can find anything here. A house a few streets down has a water slide from the first floor down to the pool. Now that’s a quick wake up for you folks (I decided it’s a bedroom next to the start of the slide).

My dear dog decided to do an impressive pile of yellow diarrhea right on the drive way, just at the same time as I noticed I didn’t have any poop bags with me. I had to take a small ziplock bag which I had a sandwich in, remove the content and stick my hand in. The bag was too small for my hand. The poop was not solid enough to stay in the bag. Everything was becoming a mess and I was trying my best to turn the bag inside out, it all ended up on my hand. I made a noice. I think it’s the same noice people do before they die. And left my child and dog standing looking at me, I ran for the closest garbage bin and got rid of the bag. I saw a trail of poop had followed me the whole way. If I would faint someone would be able to follow the trace to a beaten human being. Beaten by poop.

We left the crime scene even messier than I found it. There was nothing I could do. I noticed the smell was still there and I looked down and saw that the handle of the dogs leash was still covered in poo from my hand and it was now all over the stroller as well. I took out all 500 wipes and started cleaning. After a package of wipes I was defeated. The smell had to stay. We walked home.

And the time was 650 am. Another great day has started.

The guilty one. Don’t believe her innocent eyes. She can poop like a whole zoo.

Hej Ey Canada!

In my little series of interviews the turn has come to our friends in Canada. This will be  different to the previous post Hej Hej Syria, which was extremely popular. Thank you for reading and commenting. If you haven’t yet read it please click here.

Why did I choose Canada? Oh Canada. Well, it’s a country that feels like a bigger version of my dear home Sweden. It’s probably five billion times the size of Sweden. Estimated well. I’m smart. We have a lot in common…moose, pine trees, ice, freakin coldness and the constant battle in ice hockey.

I asked one of my favorite bloggers Cyranny’s cove to help us out with answering some questions. How is it to have such a hot president? Is he really a rock star? Is Canada really the most polite country in the world or are they actually just one big East-Coast gangster fight?

Once you read this please check out her blog about her life and how she actually wants to live in Denmark. Oh well, I’m going to totally ignore Denmark and go ahead and talk about Canada. Happy reading!


Q: First and most important questions: Who has the best ice hockey team in the world?

A:  Ok, I must say I was a bit nervous when you asked me to do this, but it is starting rather easily! Canada, of course. We invented the game, so I guess the extra practice gives us an advantage… And not only do Canadians rule when it is time to jump on the ice, but the best team is here where I live, in Montréal! The Canadians have indeed won a total of 24 Stanley Cups. No other team has achieved anything close to that. But don’t look up this year’s statistics though… We didn’t even make it to the play offs. Meh!

Q: Since you probably failed the first question, I’ll continue. Who has the SECOND best ice hockey team in the world?

A: Aaahhhh… I see what you’re trying to do here! Sweden is a good competitor, but still, no match. You know I hate to put Denmark down (sorry for this, DK) but here’s a little hockey anecdote that really makes me giggle… In 1949, in a championship held in Stockholm, Canada destroyed Denmark’s team with a final score of 47-0. For those of your readers not so familiar with hockey, a regular game is an hour long. 60 minutes, 47 goals. Make the math…. I am still wondering if the Danes knew they could put a player in front of the net! But back to Sweden, I have to say, even if you don’t have the best team, you do have the best arena!!  That Ericsson Globe thing in Stockholm is amazing. No doubt the nicest place where Canada could beat Sweden!

Q: Why do you speak such strange French? Nobody understands you.

A: I think it is mainly to annoy people from France. They’ve been looking down on us ever since a bunch of them has come to live here, so it only seems fair that we get back at them, one way or another. But hey! We rock… After all these years, we’re still hanging on, even if we are surrounded by English speaking people! We must be doing something right!

glad

Q: Do you have an East Coast – West Coast fight like they do in US of A?

A) Canada’s motto is “From coast to coast” trying to give the impression that we’re so very united. It’s almost correct. But the truth is, there are a lot of “Québec against the rest of Canada” frictions. What can I say? We’re special, and we don’t exactly fit in. Funny thing is, though, both times we tried to separate, the other provinces didn’t want us to. Go figure!

Q: Tell me something about Canada that people probably don’t know

A) We have the only town in the world (in the WORLD) with a name that has two exclamation points! It is called St-Louis du Ha! Ha! (I have a feeling some mayor lost a bet way back then…)

Q: Are you in love with your extremely hot president?

A) I’ll give it to you, Justin is probably one of the most attractive country leaders of all time. But I am getting annoyed with the selfie-taking, and wife singing in public appearances… You’re not a rock star, Mr Trudeau, just run the country… Please!

Q: What’s up with Ogopogo the mysterious lake?

A) I have to be honest, I had to Google “Ogopogo”. LOL Ogopogo is actually the name of the “monster” that is supposed to live in Okanagan lake. I had never heard of the sea serpent before… But in my defense, British Columbia is at the other end of the country, and no one ever called me from Kelowna to let me know about it… I told you, we weren’t SO united!

Q: What makes you a proud Canadian?

A) I consider myself a Quebecker first, but I have to admit I am proud of being a Canadian too. I think Canada is a great place overall. We have great cities, yet most of the country is covered with nature. It is a safe place to live (thank God we didn’t pick up that gun craze going on South) and I think Canadians are nice, open minded and welcoming people in general. I have noticed how people seem to have a good opinion of us, when I traveled abroad. Some people even stopped me in the street because they had noticed the maple leaf flag on my back pack.

comptoir

Q: My favorite Canadian thing is the Poutine. Its so delicious and unhealthy. This is actually not a question. I just want to thank Canada for sharing this dish with the rest of the world.

A) Hehehehe I am glad you mentionned the poutine! It comes from Québec, and I wouldn’t be a true Quebecker if I didn’t like it! For your readers not familiar with the weird, yet simple dish, poutine is a plating of fries topped with cheese curds and brown gravy. Other toppings can be added, but I like to stick to the original. If you travel to Montréal someday, La Banquise is the place to go to experience poutine in the finest way. But don’t be disappointed if you don’t like it. Foreigners loooooove it, or find it really gross. There is usually no in-between.

Poutine

 

Q: Why are the people from Quebec obsessed with Maple syrup?

A) Québec produces 77% (say The Internets) of all the maple syrup in the world. So we know good syrup! Here, maple syrup is almost like wine, there are good years and not so good years, and the taste isn’t exactly the same, depending on where it comes from. It’s not just something we put on pancakes or waffles… We can use it in almost any recipe that requires sugar. At the turn of winter to spring, we have the maple season, called here “le temps des sucres” literally “sugar time”. People gather together at the sugar shack, building (usually in the forest) where maple tap is collected, and turned into syrup and all other maple products. During “sugar time”, these shacks become seasonal restaurants where you get served everything that can be topped with maple syrup; beans, eggs, ham, pancakes… And at the end of the meal, hot maple toffee is served outside, directly on the snow! Yum!!

Q: If you had a bunch of blogger friends to visit you, where would you take us?

A) Denmark! Oh shoot, you meant in Canada, right? Ok, New Denmark then! (yes, we have a town called New Denmark, in New Brunswick… LOL) I must say, I haven’t traveled much through Canada myself. But if I was to play the guide for you guys, and I got to rent a Tour With Cyranny bus… Well, I’d take you to Québec City because it IS the capital of the province, and it is beautiful. (we’re not big on castles, here, in North America, like in Europe… But Frontenac’s castle is a must-see) We’d go hiking and canoeing in Mauricie’s National Park… Perhaps not the most spectacular park in Canada, but I know it well, so we wouldn’t get lost! We could stop in Trois-Rivières, just because it is my hometown, and it’d be nice to stop by my parents’ and show them that the fellow bloggers I always talk about are not imaginary friends! I’d also take you to Drummondville, because you’ll never go there if not with me, and that’s where the poutine was invented. And last but not least, I’d give you a long thorough tour of Montréal, the city of festivals (there is ALWAYS something going on, in Montréal!) If you’d like to see a preview of that, you can type “If you came to Montréal” in the research box of my blog… I have several posts about it there! (see what I am doing here? Self promotion…. LOL)

Well I hope this was somewhat entertaining… It sure was fun for me to give you a little insight of my corner of this big country!

montreal2

Montreal


Thank you Cyranny! I enjoyed that and I’m sure the readers did as well. Make sure you start preparing that blogging trip we all are going on soon.