I can’t wait ..

I’m hoping that this post will generate several positive comments from parents of more than one child saying “Oh, it’s a blast! So easy and refreshing. You won’t even notice that there is one more.”

Slippery little sucker

Do you guys have anything that you feel that you need to stop doing?

I guess we all do ..

For example, I need to stop forgetting things upstairs that needs to be taken downstairs. Especially since it takes me approximately 50 years to go down the stairs with a toodler.

She takes two steps then watches the view (the wall), sit down for a break (need a breather), stops just to laugh at something or to scream at something or just stops to turn around and walk upstairs again (yeay, let’s start over from the beginning you little …….)

Second thing is put oil all over myself and then go to pee. I can explain.

When you are pregnant and getting ready to get yourself in to an elephant state you pretend that oil will save your skin from stretchmarks and looking like one of the characters in The Expendables.

Sure, it’s probably a trick from retail again to ensure we spend our money on unnecessary things in cute bottles that smells good but it feels good to be shiny and slippery.  So I have this routine that I came up with when I expected my first and every night I pretty much drown myself in oil and THEN add the fattest Nivea body lotion I can find. After the process of rubbing it in, I have more layers of protection than a polar bear and would be able to withstand a winter in the North Pole. BUT!

Its at this point I always realise I need to pee.. and people, the damn toilet seat is not meant for a slippery butt. I feel that I should report myself as a “new miss” (if my house had an HSE department) every night. 

 

Occasionally other butts have been hurt in this process. But this butt is hairier and doesn’t slip as easy though.

I think the eggs are done

Almost 14 hours ago, I put on the timer on my phone to keep track while boiling my eggs to the perfect level of eggness (new words I need to put in the English dictionary).

How long do you boil yours for a perfect meal? I normally don’t do 14 hours but when I do, someone mysteriously takes them off the stove and ensured we still have a home.

You are going to miss me when I’m gone

Would you? Did you?

Wow, where did the summer go and how come I forgot I had a blog? So many questions, so few answers. Actually, I have answers. I lost a few brain cells in the process of creating a human being and sleeping. Or as I like to say it, my husband knock me up again. How cool is that!

One good thing about being preggo again is the fact that I need to get fat. I have to eat. The first three months of pregnancy were no good ones so I lost some weight and we all know what that means. More chocolate for me.

Second good thing with pregnancy is that it’s ok to wear tights. I love them. They are so ugly but oh, so comfy. If you are a man and reading this, please do yourself a favor and start wearing women clothing.

I’m wearing these to work tomorrow. Does that mean I get a higher salary?

I don’t know how to peel a banana

It’s true. I was a banana peeling virgin until last week. My whole life I have done my best to stay away from this evil fruit. I don’t like the smell, I don’t like the taste and I just think they are not cool, ok?

My 1,5 year old daughter loves banana. So much that it was one of her first words, to my disgrace. What is wrong with A P P L E. As many first time parents realize, you have to give in on things that you truly believed were right your whole life. She might just be over one year old but toddlers show early signs of dictatorships. Some kids grow out of and some adults still have it.

Me and my daughter was in one of the malls the other day when she got hungry and I thought let’s give her a banana. Not thinking of the peeling challenge. So I picked it up and looked at it. I had no clue where to start and I just held the end of it and made a whipping kind of movement hoping it would just open up nicely. Not so much.

It flew straight to the other table. Landed next to the guy that sat there eating but he was on the phone and didn’t notice. I leaned over and grabbed it and mysteriously it had a little start to an opening on one side. I then began pealing my first banana. Ever.

Still not touching it. Forks are the best.

Me and my birthday suit

When I moved to the Middle East a few years ago I wasn’t used to skyscrapers and living on the higher floors. In my small town in Sweden the building usually don’t get any higher than 15 floors.

My first apartment in Doha, Qatar was on the 24th floor and had big windows from the floor to the roof. I had just gone through a long Swedish winter and was getting all the chances I could to see the sun and therefore the curtains were always wide open because… why not. Nobody could see me. Right?

One day I came straight out of the shower, doing a little bit of the “air drying” without towel and to my great surprice there were two men hanging outside my window! I made a graciouse jump behind the bed and laid there butt naked on my stomach and tried to figure out why people would be outside my window a kazillion meters up in the air (rough estimation). Once I got my blond head around that they were cleaning my windows, I was wrapped in the sheet that I pulled down from the bed and stood up like a newly showered Greek person from ancient times. No more sun through the windows.

I can only imagine what kind of things these guys must see on daily basis.

I guess people like me are the reason information like this exists in hotel rooms.