More treats for me

Did you all have a nice Halloween (the ones that celebrates)? When I moved from Sweden a few years ago Halloween still wasn’t that big of a thing but I think it has changed the last years. In Dubai it’s a different story and in the area where we live most families went all in with house decorations and dress ups for the kids as well as themselves.

We didn’t decorate our house but I surely made sure that I would get some candy with minimal effort. I used child labor and a pumpkin outfit and told her not to come back until the bucket was full of candy. The other kids had a small little pumpkin bucket. My child had a big bucket we use for the beach which was probably three times the size of everyone else’s. Don’t want to risk running out of space.

Whilst my daughter managed to come back with a full bucket for her mum (she is not eating any sugar yet mmmmhahah) I excused myself from sharing anything. Because that’s just who I am. Hungry and sneaky.

Do toes have muscles?

We went to see the ballet Swan Lake on the Dubai Opera this weekend. A few minutes in to the show I realized I didn’t know what I was watching and I had to start google what it was about.

But before that I sat just staring at the dudes in tights. My husband glanced at me and whispered “you know they are wearing some kind of protection right. To make everything look bigger..”. I just told him “ssssh, let me have my moment.” No need to ruin this beautiful act with talking.

At the same time I heard someones child (well done kiddo for staying still for three hours) say rather loud in the audience “mum, why are the men naked”. I can’t blame her. Those tights sure was..tight.

Pinterest.com

Oh, the show? It was great. I think. There were some parts with only ladies when I was actually paying attention. Otherwise I was mainly staring at balls for a few hours.

There is a always a diet that I won’t be on

When you go shopping with your husband and your toddler..

– One of them wants to eat low carbs, high fat, but preferably just bacon and cheese and beer, high chocolate and no excercise. Occasionally a tomato and lots of caffein.

– The other one don’t want to eat anything but breadsticks and watermelon, if I’m lucky. Preferably she just want to chew on paper and her own shoes but hopefully an attentive parent will notice before it goes down. The other day she was on her way to treat herself with some dog food but mostly we are on a hunger streak.

I guess that means that all food is for me. I’m on a high carb, high fat, high and no lows what so ever diet.

My hair is full of snot

Don’t ever let your child go to nursery. Or school. Or leave the house. Lock them up and sanitize them. Create a basement and keep them there.

Sorry, no that’s illegal. Pretty sure some Austrians tried already.

Since our little daughter started nursery full time two months ago, we have been sick 5500 times. She is nice like that. She shares her germs. I think we should send our children to nursery and school with gas masks during flu season.

Also, the little one seems to never get it wrong with the weekend starting. “Oh, weekend?” *starts coughing*. This week I haven’t seen the day light since I came home from work Thursday afternoon (our weekends are Friday – Saturday). But I’m sure she will be well again once next weekend ends.

Can anyone tell me what the sun looks like?

And of course, she just has to to lick my face – aka kisses – more when she is sick. Of course I can’t stop kissing her chubby, sick cheeks but I might as well just have her sneeze in my mouth. Which I’m pretty sure she has done a few times… So she gets sick and then I get sick. I get no medication as I’m growing a human being inside of me. But what goes wrong here? Can we at least be tired and sick at the same time? Can I drug my child when I’m sick so I can rest?

My week put in to words

I wanted to share some interesting conversations I had this week. Please feel free to share yours in the comment section.

– saying “no, you can’t climb in the fridge” to my toddler about three times a day. I mean thirty.

– Our lifesaver and babysitter told me that her brother is now a sister and he is happy to take the unopened makeup I have.

– Discussion over the dinner table with my husband that shitting your pants is more common than one would think. I told that when you are pregnant a fart isn’t always a fart. He nodded and said, same when you are guy, but just always. I like that we can talk about everything.

I’ll finish off with some marriage advice from a younger generation:

I can’t wait ..

I’m hoping that this post will generate several positive comments from parents of more than one child saying “Oh, it’s a blast! So easy and refreshing. You won’t even notice that there is one more.”

Slippery little sucker

Do you guys have anything that you feel that you need to stop doing?

I guess we all do ..

For example, I need to stop forgetting things upstairs that needs to be taken downstairs. Especially since it takes me approximately 50 years to go down the stairs with a toodler.

She takes two steps then watches the view (the wall), sit down for a break (need a breather), stops just to laugh at something or to scream at something or just stops to turn around and walk upstairs again (yeay, let’s start over from the beginning you little …….)

Second thing is put oil all over myself and then go to pee. I can explain.

When you are pregnant and getting ready to get yourself in to an elephant state you pretend that oil will save your skin from stretchmarks and looking like one of the characters in The Expendables.

Sure, it’s probably a trick from retail again to ensure we spend our money on unnecessary things in cute bottles that smells good but it feels good to be shiny and slippery.  So I have this routine that I came up with when I expected my first and every night I pretty much drown myself in oil and THEN add the fattest Nivea body lotion I can find. After the process of rubbing it in, I have more layers of protection than a polar bear and would be able to withstand a winter in the North Pole. BUT!

Its at this point I always realise I need to pee.. and people, the damn toilet seat is not meant for a slippery butt. I feel that I should report myself as a “new miss” (if my house had an HSE department) every night. 

 

Occasionally other butts have been hurt in this process. But this butt is hairier and doesn’t slip as easy though.

I think the eggs are done

Almost 14 hours ago, I put on the timer on my phone to keep track while boiling my eggs to the perfect level of eggness (new words I need to put in the English dictionary).

How long do you boil yours for a perfect meal? I normally don’t do 14 hours but when I do, someone mysteriously takes them off the stove and ensured we still have a home.