Me too..

The “me too” movement online is a big eye opener to the world. Women all over the world has been putting these words in their Facebook statuses and twitter to show that them too has experienced sexual harassment and/or violence. It’s scary to see the magnitude of the problem. I hope this leads to a discussion of this HUGE problem that women experience daily. It shouldn’t be too hard to treat each other respectfully?

I have been working in a man dominated field my whole life and I could write a book about this subject. I have way too many examples of sexual harassment. I will share my first experience of harassment in the work field. This was absolutely not the first harassment in my life as in school girls in my class were constantly called “hore” or worse. It was a daily thing and nobody reacted. We were sad but no teachers ever took it serious. “Boy will be boys right”. NO, they fucking wouldn’t, if parents, teachers would start reacting and not making this a boy-thing. If I as a little girl would call my girlfriend in school the same word I can bet my right leg it would be a different reaction as “girls shouldnt talk like that”. 

I was 18 years old and had started working at a big international company straight after school while I would somehow figure out what I wanted in life. I ended up in a department right next to the warehouse. All guys. Most were awesome guys that I’m still friends with. But some idiots. One day I was sitting by my desk working with administration. A colleague walks in. He was much older than me, probably in his 40s at the time. I was wetting my finger with every page I turned not to have the paper stuck to each other. He leaned over and said “why don’t you just stick that finger up your pussy and that I can assure you would get it wet”. All the guys in the room started laughing. I was shocked and so angry and yelled back “excuse me what did you say?”. Even if I was 18 years old I never took any shit. It didn’t mean I never got any. I got loads but I didn’t let it go. He just laughed and said got to go, meeting x (one of our biggest clients) to show them around our warehouse”. I saw red just like the color of my face. My whole body was shaking. Should he just leave now and get away with this? The adrenaline was pumping. I was so angry I wanted to cry. How could he humiliate me like that? What have I ever done to him? Answer was nothing. The only thing I “had done” was being a human with a vagina. 

I left my desk and walked fast out to the warehouse. I had to walk around the whole mega building to get to his little office but I walked like I was freakin Forrest Gump and nothing would stop me. I walked up to his office and opened the door where he and three people from our client sat down and had a meeting. He was surprised to see me but said “Hello, we are little bit busy can you leave us please”. In a tone like nothing ever happened. Like a mature director voice from a dad of three pretending that he just didn’t comment on my private parts. The client recognized me and said hello as well. I didn’t leave. I stood in the door and said three times “what did you say to me before?”. Every time I asked he said “Not now please, we are busy”. I said , knowing I might get fired for this, you just told me to reach down to my pussy to wet my fingers, is that correct? He looked at me like he wanted to kill me. The people from the client was shocked and didn’t know where to look. The room was dead quiet. I said “don’t you ever….ever talk to me again that way. I hope we are clear.” 

Boom closed the door and walked off.

And got shit scared. My heart was pounding  like a drum. I was angry and sad at the same time. Still asking myself why he would say something like that to me. I was disappointed. 

But nothing happened. He never mentioned it again and apparently not to any of our managers either as I didn’t hear about it. We continued working together and I know he talked about me behind my back but I think he knew that I would make a bigger deal out of it if I heard him mentioning the subject once again. So he stayed quiet. I think he was shocked that the new,  young girl in the office had the courage to speak up. I think it scared the shit out of him. And I continued scaring the shit out of guys that thought I would let comments go and hasn’t stopped since. The above is just one example. Unfortunately I have many more. Sometimes I get tired. But I will never be quiet and I will always question. I will never just accept. I’m raising a girl and God knows I will teach her to be ruthless just like her mum. It’s so hard to speak up and you will always be questioned or labeled as “difficult”. I always wonder if guys like in my example ever think of how they would react if their daughter, girlfriend, mother or friend would be treated the same way. 

Remember the people that appreciate you speaking up, women and men, are always the majority. They might not make the most noice but they are there. Let’s hope the #metoo movement has made them braver and the noisy ones can stay in their caves and scratch each other’s balls. 

23 Replies to “Me too..”

  1. It’s saddening to know women have to endure something like this on such a regular basis, but I admire your courage to speak up in that situation. It is never easy going against the flow. Just know that I believe in you and that you’re courageous, you can handle any number of such predators.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It makes me so angry, that you too, have had men sexually harrassing you. And it makes me so sad that I am not surprised…at all. What makes me proud is that you have not tolerated it! I will learn from you and will not accept it!!! The awful part is the risk one takes when standing up for oneself – will I get fired? will this affect my career? etc.

    I hope all men learn to treat people with respect!!

    I am raising 2 boys. I am explaining to them, from a very young age (6 and 3) all the normal things about girls – menstruation, breasts, sexuality, respect, coolness, strength – and hoping that this will be a foundation for them to understand that girls are humanbeings as themselves. They (boys and girls) are to lift the future together – respecting oneanother! and it is the parents of the boys that can help this to happen!!!

    #metoo

    Liked by 4 people

    1. And I know you are an awesome mum Petra and if anyone will teach their boys about respect it’s you. I remember what boy used to call us in school and hopefully this #metoo discussion can encourage parents to speak to their children at early age because I believe that’s were we need to start.

      Like

    1. I wish so too! But I think women are getting braver by the day and it’s getting more encouraged to speak up. I just don’t understand why people in the first place just have the right to touch you or comment. Integrity and respect comes with common sense one would think…

      Like

  3. You are a freaking bad ass!!! I feel really bad, the last time I was “sexually assuated-ish” I just FROZE. I was refilling my coffee at 7am in a coffee shop and a guy came by and stuck his finger in my bellybutton, and then walked out the door. I was glued in my shoes for like 2 fucking minutes. Man I wish I could have tackled him

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment! I’m happy I stood up specially considering I was so young. Hopefully more girls and women feel the courage to do so more and more as well. But mostly I just hope those men just cut the crap and start respecting others.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes! Now to figure out how to encourage enough confidence in my daughter so she can stand up like you did. Figure out how to encourage all girls and women to stand up like you did. I have to admit, though I worked for some time in a male-dominated field, I never had that sort of incident. Maybe I somehow had a don’t-mess-with-me attitude, or maybe I had the incredibly good fortune to work with some great guys. Kudos to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your nice comment! Raising a confident child is the million dollar question.. I wish someone could just tell me exactly how to do it… and then hope someone with a son does the exact same thing.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I think there is a good movement out there now to speak up. I like how it’s encouraged and I like even more how the guilty ones won’t get away with it…anymore.
      Thank you for visiting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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