Happy Birthday UAE!

Isn’t it awesome when you arrive at work and the first thing that you meet is a horse. I wish that happened every day. I would love to have a little pony next to my desk and just have a conversation with him now and then. Give him a carrot or just braid his tail.

Today was UAE National day celebration. Well it’s actually tomorrow officially but that’s a day off. We all dressed up in National outfits and did everything except for working. Best day ever!

I had a hard time navigating myself with my abaya. I got stuck in doors, stepped on in, rolled my chair over it and couldn’t stand up, discovered why women take them off before going to the toilet. Learnt a lot today.. Tomorrow this young nation turns 46 years old. The stuff this country has gone through in just such a short time is unbelievable. Twenty years ago this was pretty much just sand. And today… it’s just wow! If you haven’t been to Dubai, come and visit. I promise to meet you with a horse. Or camel.

Give a thank

Today is apparently Thanksgiving in America so enjoy, dear americano amigos. I added a latino touch to that to emphasize. Not sure what exactly. Thanksgiving is nothing we celebrate in Sweden. We actually aren’t that big on turkey either, which means the holiday would be impossible, I assume. Here in Dubai I’m working with a lot of Americans and they made sure nobody misses the event. At work yesterday we discussed what we are grateful about. Since I’m not back home in Sweden and taking important things for granted, I’m obvious grateful for the full jar of lingonberries that I have in the fridge (the red stuff we eat with meatballs), that nobody got in to the elevator after that extremely, horrible fart that might have killed someone (am I allergic to tomatoes?) and that my husband still believes that “Pappa är bajs” means “daddy is your best friend” in Swedish (until he reads this). It means that he is poop but it makes for a fun conversation once my daughter starts talking.

I was also taught how to draw a turkey with my hand. Yes, it sounds like I work in a kindergarten.. this is actually my colleagues drawing. I can’t show you mine as it will be worth a lot of money in a few years.

Or maybe it’s in the trash.

Hejhej goes guest blogging

So this cool guy Mohamad Karbi asked me to write a little bit about Sweden on his blog. Home sweet home that I miss dearly (no, Dubai isn’t too shabby).

What I wrote? Don’t be lazy, click on the link. I kind of explained how Sweden represents peace, stability and rotten fish. Oh and snow. And I didn’t swear once.

I’m pretty much a diplomat now.

Read it here: Hej Hej Sverige

Flower power daddy

The other day was Fathers Day in Sweden. It feels like it’s a “parents day” every other day as an expat. We have the UAE one, there’s a UK one, Swedish one and an American one and I’m sure a million others. Anyone with a flower shop in Dubai is making loads of money considering we are about 200 different nationalities here.

My dad is in the middle of fixing the kitchen in his house back home in Sweden and I thought a big bouquet of flowers would make a nice change to the messy place. I clicked on the “large” size as I ordered them online and I guess they kept their promise. He was complaining he can’t see out of the window.

Wanna play?

What are the rules for which toys are suitable for babies? As long as she doesn’t choke on it I’m pretty sure it’s a good idea to let my imagination go wild. I’m bored of the normal toys. Yes me…not her but I feel that I’m playing with them as much as she is. I have a saying right.

Lately I just put her in to things and pull her around the house or keep her as an accessory in the garden. The other day we pulled out all the kitchen supplies and I’m not sure if the neighbors down in Saudi Arabia heard us but she is not getting a drum set for any of her birthdays. The risk of deportation is just too high.

Mini cocks on sale

These where found in one of the shops by a friend of mine. We are still puzzled and not exactly sure what they are but I’ll get some next time. It’s best quality and all.

Anti-bucket list

All I read about is what people want to do i their life, their goals and dreams. That’s great. Positive and fun. But what I really want to know is what you DONT want to do (again). 

I don’t really regret things. It’s what we do in life that takes us forward. Or backwards. For good or bad. Below is my anti-bucket list. This is what I won’t do again:

  • Tequila race 
  • Eat a big kebab before going on a spinning roller coaster
  • Rescue two cats with diarrhea 
  • Lick an electric fence (yeah, I KNOW! But it was a bet. I won)
  • Ride a motorcycle in shorts
  • Yawn while being on that damn motorcycle (and with a burnt leg). Damn those flies. 

Tell me yours! 

Oh shit kit

During this weekend I have been very productive. One day I went to a Bachelorette party and then spent one day recovering from it. Luckily the bride to be is one heck of a planner and she left every one a little package by the table. She called it an “Oh shit” – kit for the day after. An absolutely fantastic idea! 

It made me realize that I want us to invent an Oh shit kit for life. Just after being born I want babies to get this package as a gift together with a little note. It will say something like:

“Oh, hello little one! Welcome to life. Sorry about the claustrophobic experience you just went through. However you feel right now I can assure you that your mum feels worse. I hope you will enjoy it out here on Earth. We have put a few things together to make you feel welcome. Please enjoy the fresh milk first and when you feel up for it we can go through the list.” 

The package would contain the following: 

  • First of all a filter. This will just filter all the bullshit you will hear. Don’t take notice of assholes. 
  • Mints. Because you will enjoy good food in life and with good food comes garlic. And you still want friends so..
  • SPF. The sun is nice but harsh. Your skin is soft and smooth. So far. Wait a few years and you will mistake your own feet for sandpaper. Or whoever you are sharing bed with will.
  • A dog. Because you need a pet. Everyone that can should have something furry at home to hug. Your unshaved whatever doesn’t count. You can get a hairy partner if you are allergic. 
  • Books. Read and learn because whatever happens to you in life nobody can ever take away knowledge or experience. My husband laughs at the fact that I moved huge boxes of books from country to country when I moved around. 

  • A pair of running shoes. Get your ass moving weekly. Run to the hills, walk through the forest or just get the hell away from places really quick. Your heart will thank you. 
  • A happy place. Feel free to choose location yourself. To start with we have chosen two pair of boobs for you. You will grow out of this hopefully but some boys chooses to keep this as a happy place through life. My happy place used to be the stable. I been horse riding for many years and spent most of my childhood cuddling ponies and shuffling shit. That stuff makes me happy. 

What would you put in your Oh Shit kit ?