During this weekend I have been very productive. One day I went to a Bachelorette party and then spent one day recovering from it. Luckily the bride to be is one heck of a planner and she left every one a little package by the table. She called it an “Oh shit” – kit for the day after. An absolutely fantastic idea!
It made me realize that I want us to invent an Oh shit kit for life. Just after being born I want babies to get this package as a gift together with a little note. It will say something like:
“Oh, hello little one! Welcome to life. Sorry about the claustrophobic experience you just went through. However you feel right now I can assure you that your mum feels worse. I hope you will enjoy it out here on Earth. We have put a few things together to make you feel welcome. Please enjoy the fresh milk first and when you feel up for it we can go through the list.”
The package would contain the following:
- First of all a filter. This will just filter all the bullshit you will hear. Don’t take notice of assholes.
- Mints. Because you will enjoy good food in life and with good food comes garlic. And you still want friends so..
- SPF. The sun is nice but harsh. Your skin is soft and smooth. So far. Wait a few years and you will mistake your own feet for sandpaper. Or whoever you are sharing bed with will.
- A dog. Because you need a pet. Everyone that can should have something furry at home to hug. Your unshaved whatever doesn’t count. You can get a hairy partner if you are allergic.
- Books. Read and learn because whatever happens to you in life nobody can ever take away knowledge or experience. My husband laughs at the fact that I moved huge boxes of books from country to country when I moved around.
- A pair of running shoes. Get your ass moving weekly. Run to the hills, walk through the forest or just get the hell away from places really quick. Your heart will thank you.
- A happy place. Feel free to choose location yourself. To start with we have chosen two pair of boobs for you. You will grow out of this hopefully but some boys chooses to keep this as a happy place through life. My happy place used to be the stable. I been horse riding for many years and spent most of my childhood cuddling ponies and shuffling shit. That stuff makes me happy.
What would you put in your Oh Shit kit ?