Please hold my bra while I get on with my evening

After dinner my husband was on his way upstairs to put out little daughter to bed. I suddenly had an urge…

ME: Oh wait! Can you please bring my bra upstairs!

I take it off and throw it at him.

ME: CATCH!

HUSBAND: Great, thanks?

ME: Nice catch. Why so shocked?

HUSBAND: No, nothing. Nothing surprises me.

ME: You should just be happy it wasn’t a tampon.

HUSBAND: As I said, nothing would surprise me.

Good thing I’m cute.

Living in the desert is greener than you think

When I mention that I live in the Middle East people tend to think that I live in a sandpit, in a desert. Which is not wrong. We are surrounded by sand and we get reminded if we just drive a few minutes out of the main cities. Once outside of Dubai the sand dunes starts growing and we can definitely see that we are in fact in the desert. We also get our fair share of sandstorms that makes us chew sand for days.

But there is another side to the Middle East that a lot of people haven’t discovered yet and it’s the amazing cities like Abu Dhabi, Dubai in United Arab Emirates, Doha in Qatar, Muscat in Oman and Manama in Bahrain. Yes, a LOT of effort and water have to be managed in order to keep these cities green. Sustainable (and unsustainable) options are being looked in to to ensure they stay this way as well.

Below my dog is having a morning zen moment, enjoying the view and the quietness. Well, until another dog came that she tried to kill in order to protect her family.

She also has a love for jumping in to hedges and stay there.

Our area is surrounded by several man made lakes and greenery to make sure that we think we don’t live in the desert. It works pretty well up until this time of year when the heat are coming and it’s getting tough to be outside. Mornings and evenings are still nice. 7 am is about 26 degrees (80 Fahrenheit). Deodorant is turning in to an item that goes with you and on you everywhere. We sweat more than sauna lovers. At least that’s something that makes me feel right at home, as a Scandinavian.

How do you like your M&Ms?

The other morning my husband got out of bed and when he stood up I saw that he had an empty (unfortunately) bag of M&Ms stuck to his butt cheek. Can the day start any better than that? He never looked more beautiful.

It was quiet a sight seeing something semi hairy standing up and while walking away from the bed trying to make sense of what was making a strange noice while moving. He took a step, looked behind him, took another step, looked behind him on the other side. It was almost as entertaining as watching a dog chase it’s tail. You just sit there and enjoy being the smartest one in the room. For once.

Who ate the chocolate in bed and why the paper was on his side of the bed is not interesting. No need to be pointing fingers.

To Recycle or To Reconsider ?

A friend of mine kindly send me these pictures and now I can’t sleep. Which is good considering I’m going to work.

A Facebook group called “Recycle, Reuse, Restore” posted the brilliant idea of how to use old dolls as indoor plant accessory instead of throwing them away when your kids don’t want them anymore.

All I here is Sting “…every step you take, every breath you make, I’ll be watching you…”

The poop diaries and a weekend stroll

* Public service announcement for sensitive people. This post contains poop. If you are eating, please continue to read *

Ignore that. It was me being mean. The poop part is true though. I therefore put in a nice picture of flower. To start of positive. You can stop reading now and enjoy your day. If you are feeling brave. Please continue.

One of the exciting new things that you get to experience as a new parent is the presence of poop. Discussions of poop. And smelling of poop. Before I had children I would wonder about the obsession from parents about this subject and the extremely annoying smelling of the babies butt.

Without giving away too many details, this is now my reality. Yesterday during a barbecue my husband smelled my daughters butt about five times during two minutes. Just to make sure. Was there something? Maybe. Maybe not? But I’m sure I smelled something. Or was it just a fart? It was like a freakin wine tasting with a twist.

To add to my life of poop, I adopted a rescue dog from the streets of Dubai. Well, I found her under a car, shaking like a little leaf, is more like the truth. After a few days she decided to come out. I saw she had a heart shape pattern on her forehead and decided she was mine. That’s adoption. I think.

This morning when I was walking with my baby in the stroller. Who just had a change of pajama as she needed to poop all over herself just before we left the house for the walk. My dog suddenly decided to squat down doggie style right outside a huge mansion with a design of absolutely – nothing – except – gold – is – good – as a drive way theme. Yeah, it’s a Dubai thing. Believe me, you can find anything here. A house a few streets down has a water slide from the first floor down to the pool. Now that’s a quick wake up for you folks (I decided it’s a bedroom next to the start of the slide).

My dear dog decided to do an impressive pile of yellow diarrhea right on the drive way, just at the same time as I noticed I didn’t have any poop bags with me. I had to take a small ziplock bag which I had a sandwich in, remove the content and stick my hand in. The bag was too small for my hand. The poop was not solid enough to stay in the bag. Everything was becoming a mess and I was trying my best to turn the bag inside out, it all ended up on my hand. I made a noice. I think it’s the same noice people do before they die. And left my child and dog standing looking at me, I ran for the closest garbage bin and got rid of the bag. I saw a trail of poop had followed me the whole way. If I would faint someone would be able to follow the trace to a beaten human being. Beaten by poop.

We left the crime scene even messier than I found it. There was nothing I could do. I noticed the smell was still there and I looked down and saw that the handle of the dogs leash was still covered in poo from my hand and it was now all over the stroller as well. I took out all 500 wipes and started cleaning. After a package of wipes I was defeated. The smell had to stay. We walked home.

And the time was 650 am. Another great day has started.

The guilty one. Don’t believe her innocent eyes. She can poop like a whole zoo.