Slippery little sucker

Do you guys have anything that you feel that you need to stop doing?

I guess we all do ..

For example, I need to stop forgetting things upstairs that needs to be taken downstairs. Especially since it takes me approximately 50 years to go down the stairs with a toodler.

She takes two steps then watches the view (the wall), sit down for a break (need a breather), stops just to laugh at something or to scream at something or just stops to turn around and walk upstairs again (yeay, let’s start over from the beginning you little …….)

Second thing is put oil all over myself and then go to pee. I can explain.

When you are pregnant and getting ready to get yourself in to an elephant state you pretend that oil will save your skin from stretchmarks and looking like one of the characters in The Expendables.

Sure, it’s probably a trick from retail again to ensure we spend our money on unnecessary things in cute bottles that smells good but it feels good to be shiny and slippery.  So I have this routine that I came up with when I expected my first and every night I pretty much drown myself in oil and THEN add the fattest Nivea body lotion I can find. After the process of rubbing it in, I have more layers of protection than a polar bear and would be able to withstand a winter in the North Pole. BUT!

Its at this point I always realise I need to pee.. and people, the damn toilet seat is not meant for a slippery butt. I feel that I should report myself as a “new miss” (if my house had an HSE department) every night. 

 

Occasionally other butts have been hurt in this process. But this butt is hairier and doesn’t slip as easy though.

17 Replies to “Slippery little sucker”

  1. Oh My! Ok, in the 80s it was popular for people to sunbath with baby oil. We would go the swimming pool looking like we had been plucked from a jar of olives. One time my friend who was well oiled was trying to high dive when he slipped in the oil and landed in the water butt first. 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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