The ninth month outfit

I’m not having a lot of options anymore considering I ripped my maternity pants like a true hippo. I have surrendered to tights and I’m proud of it. Who ever invented tights should get the Nobel Peace Price. I’m sure it has kept people from fighting over the years and created peace within women’s minds. Who has the urge to fight when you are wearing comfy clothing? You would be like “naaah, im wearing my eating pants, let’s do brunch instead.” I’m pretty sure people that fight are hungry people in skinny jeans.

So what do you wear when your maternity clothes are getting too small and you only have a few weeks (days…) until the little one arrives..

– Husbands clothes (this might require a big man). You can also borrow someone else’s husband but might be strange.

– Naked – great for all itching. Bad for the working environment. Gotta love maternity leave.

– Wrap yourself in a sheet. Pretend you are an Ancient Greek.

– Leaves, go Adam and Eve style and hope you got some good glue and that it’s warm outside.

Let it all hang out, Bob. I’m with you.

I ate it all

So here I am sitting and eating peanut butter and Nutella straight from the jar. Using the same spoon like a proper rebel. People tend to ask if there is anything I will be missing about being pregnant. Yes! I will miss being an absolute pig and getting away with it.

Does this mean I don’t do these things without a baby in my belly…no, not really but probably less. A lot less actually. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here. Nowadays I’m searching the fridge and the pantries like a sniffer dog. I know what’s there as I’ve just looked around a few minutes ago but still..I can’t stop.

I eat chocolate cake with both hands, shuffling it in to my mouth like there is no tomorrow.

I will also miss putting everything on my belly and calling it party trick. I do this every day and send my husband a picture like it’s the most amazing thing that ever happened. But I can’t get over having a picnic table with me wherever I go.

Little baby can come now. I ripped all my pants and I have nothing more to wear. I’m expanding and my closet is not.