Sit still and smile for the camera

There are several photographers out there that are focusing on family photos.

“Great memory guaranteed”..

“Capture the moment”

I say it sounds very good. I would also say it doesn’t necessarily look that way.

But who am I to judge. Maybe other people have kids that sits still and smiles.

Oh, hello there! I’ve missed you, dear reader..

Apparently I haven’t written anything here for six months:ish. This thing happened called baby, or rather second child syndrome maybe. Going from one child to two felt like going from one child to a school class. Then adding a full time job in to the equation and I get it. I get it why sometimes months fly by and you don’t hear from friends with kids. I felt busy having one but this is a different dimension.

The little boy hasn’t been a big fan of sleeping. During the sleep regression I asked my boss if I could by a little hammock but it still hasn’t been approved :

New sentences that are commonly used in our house nowadays:

– Don’t lick the baby! (To dog)

– Don’t lick the dog! (To baby)

– Don’t lick your shoes! (To toddler)

– Stop blaming grandma for the poop in the corner! (To husband)

The last one may or may not be true.

Anyway, nice to be back. What have you been up to?

The boy of my dreams

He is finally here, the little boy of my dreams. He is absolutely perfect, hairy like a little monkey and farts like an onion infused caveman. The way I like them.

Yesterday he made me very proud by pooping right in to the hands of my husband. I was just thinking to myself, “wow, that’s brave” when my husband undressed him and carried him around naked while I prepared the little bath. First, an innocent fart followed by an “oops” and then he pooped all over my husband who tried to save the situation by holding his hand around babies little butt. The look on someone’s face, when you have your hands covered and full of shit, is priceless. And you just don’t know where to start to save the situation. And it’s so, so painful to laugh when you’ve had a cesarean. But worth it.

Celebrate your pee

When you are an adult (how did that happened?) It’s important to appreciate the small things in life which is easily forgotten. Going to the toilet for example. I would say that’s a pretty cool thing. The body is like “naah, had enough of that” or “too much of this”, “Seriously, another beer? I’m gonna make you suffer”.

Since January we have toilet trained our daughter and it’s been rather interesting. It felt like living on the edge in some kind of adventure movie where you just never know what will come at you every other minute. In one hand a mop and the other a potty and you just repeat “pee?” every second of the waking hour until you think that’s a full sentence. You even greet your husband when he comes out from the bathroom with a “pee, pee?”

The positive thing though is that I get big applause and a high five every time she comes with me to the toilet and I pee. She looks at me with big eyes and when she hears the drops she spins around, yells “yeay” and does a little dance for me. I really enjoy peeing now. I’m so happy someone is happy for me.

Now just need to find someone in the office that does the same thing but they are just not that grateful. Yet.

Kids are awesome

I took the picture from a distance pretending she didn’t belong to me but the next second she was up and running around and laughing again. I just assume toddlers are psychopaths.

Do toes have muscles?

We went to see the ballet Swan Lake on the Dubai Opera this weekend. A few minutes in to the show I realized I didn’t know what I was watching and I had to start google what it was about.

But before that I sat just staring at the dudes in tights. My husband glanced at me and whispered “you know they are wearing some kind of protection right. To make everything look bigger..”. I just told him “ssssh, let me have my moment.” No need to ruin this beautiful act with talking.

At the same time I heard someones child (well done kiddo for staying still for three hours) say rather loud in the audience “mum, why are the men naked”. I can’t blame her. Those tights sure was..tight.

Pinterest.com

Oh, the show? It was great. I think. There were some parts with only ladies when I was actually paying attention. Otherwise I was mainly staring at balls for a few hours.

There is a always a diet that I won’t be on

When you go shopping with your husband and your toddler..

– One of them wants to eat low carbs, high fat, but preferably just bacon and cheese and beer, high chocolate and no excercise. Occasionally a tomato and lots of caffein.

– The other one don’t want to eat anything but breadsticks and watermelon, if I’m lucky. Preferably she just want to chew on paper and her own shoes but hopefully an attentive parent will notice before it goes down. The other day she was on her way to treat herself with some dog food but mostly we are on a hunger streak.

I guess that means that all food is for me. I’m on a high carb, high fat, high and no lows what so ever diet.