Do toes have muscles?

We went to see the ballet Swan Lake on the Dubai Opera this weekend. A few minutes in to the show I realized I didn’t know what I was watching and I had to start google what it was about.

But before that I sat just staring at the dudes in tights. My husband glanced at me and whispered “you know they are wearing some kind of protection right. To make everything look bigger..”. I just told him “ssssh, let me have my moment.” No need to ruin this beautiful act with talking.

At the same time I heard someones child (well done kiddo for staying still for three hours) say rather loud in the audience “mum, why are the men naked”. I can’t blame her. Those tights sure was..tight.

Pinterest.com

Oh, the show? It was great. I think. There were some parts with only ladies when I was actually paying attention. Otherwise I was mainly staring at balls for a few hours.

There is a always a diet that I won’t be on

When you go shopping with your husband and your toddler..

– One of them wants to eat low carbs, high fat, but preferably just bacon and cheese and beer, high chocolate and no excercise. Occasionally a tomato and lots of caffein.

– The other one don’t want to eat anything but breadsticks and watermelon, if I’m lucky. Preferably she just want to chew on paper and her own shoes but hopefully an attentive parent will notice before it goes down. The other day she was on her way to treat herself with some dog food but mostly we are on a hunger streak.

I guess that means that all food is for me. I’m on a high carb, high fat, high and no lows what so ever diet.

My hair is full of snot

Don’t ever let your child go to nursery. Or school. Or leave the house. Lock them up and sanitize them. Create a basement and keep them there.

Sorry, no that’s illegal. Pretty sure some Austrians tried already.

Since our little daughter started nursery full time two months ago, we have been sick 5500 times. She is nice like that. She shares her germs. I think we should send our children to nursery and school with gas masks during flu season.

Also, the little one seems to never get it wrong with the weekend starting. “Oh, weekend?” *starts coughing*. This week I haven’t seen the day light since I came home from work Thursday afternoon (our weekends are Friday – Saturday). But I’m sure she will be well again once next weekend ends.

Can anyone tell me what the sun looks like?

And of course, she just has to to lick my face – aka kisses – more when she is sick. Of course I can’t stop kissing her chubby, sick cheeks but I might as well just have her sneeze in my mouth. Which I’m pretty sure she has done a few times… So she gets sick and then I get sick. I get no medication as I’m growing a human being inside of me. But what goes wrong here? Can we at least be tired and sick at the same time? Can I drug my child when I’m sick so I can rest?

I can’t wait ..

I’m hoping that this post will generate several positive comments from parents of more than one child saying “Oh, it’s a blast! So easy and refreshing. You won’t even notice that there is one more.”

I think the eggs are done

Almost 14 hours ago, I put on the timer on my phone to keep track while boiling my eggs to the perfect level of eggness (new words I need to put in the English dictionary).

How long do you boil yours for a perfect meal? I normally don’t do 14 hours but when I do, someone mysteriously takes them off the stove and ensured we still have a home.

You are going to miss me when I’m gone

Would you? Did you?

Wow, where did the summer go and how come I forgot I had a blog? So many questions, so few answers. Actually, I have answers. I lost a few brain cells in the process of creating a human being and sleeping. Or as I like to say it, my husband knock me up again. How cool is that!

One good thing about being preggo again is the fact that I need to get fat. I have to eat. The first three months of pregnancy were no good ones so I lost some weight and we all know what that means. More chocolate for me.

Second good thing with pregnancy is that it’s ok to wear tights. I love them. They are so ugly but oh, so comfy. If you are a man and reading this, please do yourself a favor and start wearing women clothing.

I’m wearing these to work tomorrow. Does that mean I get a higher salary?

I don’t know how to peel a banana

It’s true. I was a banana peeling virgin until last week. My whole life I have done my best to stay away from this evil fruit. I don’t like the smell, I don’t like the taste and I just think they are not cool, ok?

My 1,5 year old daughter loves banana. So much that it was one of her first words, to my disgrace. What is wrong with A P P L E. As many first time parents realize, you have to give in on things that you truly believed were right your whole life. She might just be over one year old but toddlers show early signs of dictatorships. Some kids grow out of and some adults still have it.

Me and my daughter was in one of the malls the other day when she got hungry and I thought let’s give her a banana. Not thinking of the peeling challenge. So I picked it up and looked at it. I had no clue where to start and I just held the end of it and made a whipping kind of movement hoping it would just open up nicely. Not so much.

It flew straight to the other table. Landed next to the guy that sat there eating but he was on the phone and didn’t notice. I leaned over and grabbed it and mysteriously it had a little start to an opening on one side. I then began pealing my first banana. Ever.

Still not touching it. Forks are the best.