Apparently I haven’t written anything here for six months:ish. This thing happened called baby, or rather second child syndrome maybe. Going from one child to two felt like going from one child to a school class. Then adding a full time job in to the equation and I get it. I get it why sometimes months fly by and you don’t hear from friends with kids. I felt busy having one but this is a different dimension.
The little boy hasn’t been a big fan of sleeping. During the sleep regression I asked my boss if I could by a little hammock but it still hasn’t been approved :
New sentences that are commonly used in our house nowadays:
– Don’t lick the baby! (To dog)
– Don’t lick the dog! (To baby)
– Don’t lick your shoes! (To toddler)
– Stop blaming grandma for the poop in the corner! (To husband)
The last one may or may not be true.
Anyway, nice to be back. What have you been up to?
I’m not having a lot of options anymore considering I ripped my maternity pants like a true hippo. I have surrendered to tights and I’m proud of it. Who ever invented tights should get the Nobel Peace Price. I’m sure it has kept people from fighting over the years and created peace within women’s minds. Who has the urge to fight when you are wearing comfy clothing? You would be like “naaah, im wearing my eating pants, let’s do brunch instead.” I’m pretty sure people that fight are hungry people in skinny jeans.
So what do you wear when your maternity clothes are getting too small and you only have a few weeks (days…) until the little one arrives..
– Husbands clothes (this might require a big man). You can also borrow someone else’s husband but might be strange.
– Naked – great for all itching. Bad for the working environment. Gotta love maternity leave.
– Wrap yourself in a sheet. Pretend you are an Ancient Greek.
– Leaves, go Adam and Eve style and hope you got some good glue and that it’s warm outside.
Let it all hang out, Bob. I’m with you.
So here I am sitting and eating peanut butter and Nutella straight from the jar. Using the same spoon like a proper rebel. People tend to ask if there is anything I will be missing about being pregnant. Yes! I will miss being an absolute pig and getting away with it.
Does this mean I don’t do these things without a baby in my belly…no, not really but probably less. A lot less actually. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here. Nowadays I’m searching the fridge and the pantries like a sniffer dog. I know what’s there as I’ve just looked around a few minutes ago but still..I can’t stop.
I eat chocolate cake with both hands, shuffling it in to my mouth like there is no tomorrow.
I will also miss putting everything on my belly and calling it party trick. I do this every day and send my husband a picture like it’s the most amazing thing that ever happened. But I can’t get over having a picnic table with me wherever I go.
Little baby can come now. I ripped all my pants and I have nothing more to wear. I’m expanding and my closet is not.
I’m pretty sure that my unborn child will have a slight smell of buttery popcorn when he comes out.
This is what my desk at work looks like every afternoon. The days I forget to bring popcorn, my colleagues does it for me. I’m surrounded by feeders.
There seem to be a trend on Facebook and Instagram to put two really hot pictures of yourself from today versus ten years ago and then have people act surprised how you didn’t change AT ALL even though you don’t look like that picture and never did.
I took on the challenge anyway. I’m sure this works with balls as well, guys. Just saying. Don’t go all “uh, boobs and breastfeeding” on me. Yeah, those balls are stretched as well! And it’s because you keep on scratching them all the time.
I have a new addiction and it’s sparkling water. I’m the worst when it comes to drinking water in general. I’m always dehydrated apparently, without knowing it. If I have a facial I get told “your skin is dehydrated”, if I go to the midwife she says “your body is dehydrated”, when I walk passed the water dispenser it says “you haven’t been here for a while”. But since I started choosing the bubbly version I consume more. I guess it’s my body missing sparkling wine or champagne. Oh wine… can’t wait to have a new born and fall asleep after a sip of wine at 734 pm.
One thing that crossed my mind though is my dear little baby in the belly. Can I drink too much sparkling water? At one point will he feel like he is in a constant jacuzzi? Is it a Spa kind of feeling or more like a washing machine?
Guess I’ll just have to ask him when he comes out.
Also I can only wear tops one day at the time as the belly is now big and catches everything I spill. Which I pretty much everything I eat.
I took the picture from a distance pretending she didn’t belong to me but the next second she was up and running around and laughing again. I just assume toddlers are psychopaths.
So we had a really nicely decorated Christmas tree. A normal one that had these little colorful balls ALL over it. Meaning from bottom to the top.
But it seems that this year, the little person in my life decided that decorations are overrated. At least the ones within an arm length reach. Therefore everything keeps on moving upwards in the tree. I’m pretty sure that the tree will soon end up being “naked”. No decorations for safety precautions. So far I have found ornaments in the toilet, in the fridge and even outside (!).
For now our tree will look like this. It’s a crop-top kind of way of decorating. Next year we have to get a taller one.
I don’t intend to become a food blogger any time soon but if I would, I would make meringue looking like small bird shits.