Useless knowledge 

Why doesn’t the doggie filter on Instagram and Snapchat work on dogs? I had a very productive evening (obviously) and tried to get my dog to get double ears and nose, as one do on a week night. Selfie after selfie..total waste. 

Anyway, just wanted you to know. Don’t try it at home. It doesn’t work. I’m still annoyed and my dog feels discriminated. 

Tasty news

We have been going through the news the last few days. Me and my genius baby. Side by side we read the whole shit. 

We gave up an ate the news instead. Because if there is something my child has taught me, it’s that whatever you feel about something, just eat it and then decide if it’s good or bad. 

Actually no. She didn’t teach me that. Food poisining thought me that. 

Zero difference

After a few months of giving birth I thought I needed to do something about the fact that my body contained of zero percent muscles and 100 % coffee and a whole lot of cookies. I went to a personal trainer that specialized in post pregnancies and yummy mama bodies. She started measuring my thighs and abs and she also checked my belly. After the examination she informed me that she had good and bad news. Bad news: there was no difference in my muscles when they were relaxed versus flexed. Good news: there is a huge gap in my belly muscles, also known as diastatis recti. She looked at me and smile. That means that you at least have core muscles!                                                                             Ok, awesome, I thought to myself. I really have no muscles and the ones I got have a huge gap in the middle. Oh, the joy of being a woman!

I trained with her for about five times before she went on vacation. She took a short break of 2,5 month and I haven’t seen her for just as long. I promised to keep on going to the gym while she was away. That was a lie. Well, I did buy a gym card. Easiest money that gym ever made. They have seen me twice in four months.

 

allofthem

She is back next week and in a weak moment I signed up for an eight week program. This means training three times a week for eight, freaking weeks. I will hate myself so much for this. But after 24 sessions I will be doing push ups like a rock star, all of them. Perhaps also the 26 pairs of tiny trousers that I have in my closet will fit.

Until then, where are the chocolate chip cookies i bought yesterday. There is no way I ate all 18.

I totally ate all 18.