Kitchen un-aided

Has anyone discovered the art of making stuff in a Kitchen Aid? I bought this nice machine to help me make awesome food. Well, maybe it was more of “Oh, that’s a cool thing. Oh, it’s super heavy as well. Perfect. And I have no room for it. Let’s buy it!”

So the other day I realized I have owned it for over a week without any use for it so I decided that I would make an omelet. Something that would be so much easier to just do with a bowl and a fork. But hey, why do that when you have a huge and heavy machine thing for these kind of things and let’s do more dishes than necessary.

I put in eggs and cream and then thought let’s go wild with some veggies. In with some tomatoes and maybe this was when I realized that a kitchen aid comes with a little plastic lid for a reason. The cherry tomato I dropped in to my mix flew out as fast as I could say “cheese” and splash landed next to my dog that was laying on the floor. My dog lifted her head and looked surprised and the small, red thing next to her and then at me. I said sorry and explained that I didn’t read the instructions yet. That’s something I always do after I use any kind of technology to ensure adventure in life.

Yesterday I made pizza. I’m going to spare you the details as this is blog is not going to be a cook book any time soon but I can tell you that the slippery little sucker (the dough) tried to escape. It also turned it to strange shapes and I had to R rate my kitchen from my child.

No dogs were harmed in making of the pizza.

A cold break

We have been to the North Pole the last week. Or maybe it was just Sweden but due to our lack of socks and winter clothes in general, it felt like we had been taken to the deepest part of Siberia. I also noticed that it’s when you put jeans on that you realize how fat you actually are. Can I still blame pregnancy kilos a year after the child was born?

It’s always great to go home when you are living abroad. You get to meet everyone that you miss so dearly and after a few days you also remember why you don’t live there anymore (just joking, mum). But when you come from a part of the world that is as dark as under a shoe during the winter and you can’t feel your thoughts after ten minutes of being outside, it’s not so strange that you decide to reside slightly more south. I still think snow is cozy. Too look at. In pictures. On my phone from a beach in Dubai.

This picture sums up my week. Not only did it take an hour to get dressed to go outside but once coming inside again, I couldn’t get out of my jacket either. Luckily I had mama friends that are used to zippers being stuck and saving three year olds from these scenarios. I would say mums are just as handy to have with you anywhere you go as doctors are. Clearly God was shining his light on me as well. Something like “Go towards the light” came in to mind but I resisted the urge. I have so much to live for. It was just a jacket, God! Yes, I did feel like I was going to suffocate but I thought “today is not the day”.

And then we had sushi and drank wine.

Outfit of the day

When you are a viking and want to tell the neighborhood not to mess with you.

Or maybe you live in Dubai and don’t have any proper winter clothes and have to use a hat that your mum might have bought for Masquerade.

Naughty penguin of the month

I sent the below picture to my boss as an example of what I would like to have in the office to encourage good manners and point out bad behavior. I haven’t received any reply back yet. I’m aiming for the good penguin award of the month and I’m really excited about my award. It’s probably a raw fish. I’m Scandinavian (meaning viking, meaning sailor) so obviously that would be the highlight of the year. Fish is life.

You are in trouble, Timmy…

On duty

She finally brushed her self off and got a job. About time she starts providing for the family.

Watch out on the roads and make sure she turns on the taximeter. Don’t believe her when she promises that “this is the fastest route, sir.”

Camel toe

Beauty doesn’t discriminate. Even the camels aren’t safe.

In the newspaper earlier this weeks we could read about the camel beauty festival (because..of course there is one!) in Saudi where several camels were disqualified because they had used Botox. Gosh, these camels…don’t they know that’s breaking the rules!

Well, since the prize money is almost 32 million USD I guess the competition is crucial… The judges are looking at size of the hump, of course..size of lips and jaw, size of head and color of the coat. It all sounds very horrible. Poor animals. Even a veterinarian was caught cheating as her performed plastic surgery on some camels.

Normally camels are a big deal in the Middle East. If you hit a camel with your car, as they do wonder of occasionally or wild ones comes too close to the road, you are in for a huge penalty from the police. Buying a camel can cost you several hundred thousands of USD.

And just a thought. If you were a camel, surely you would just bleach you teeth.

https://www.thenational.ae/world/gcc/saudi-camel-beauty-festival-12-entrants-disqualified-for-botox-use-1.698068

You didn’t burn the beer

31 year old artist Eli Rezkallah has made an artwork called “In a parallel universe” where he has changed the women to men in some (brutal) gender typical ads from the 20s.

Some things change and some things don’t..

Source: buzzfeed

A little bit of mooning

There are several interesting challenges with living in the ME. Some stuff are really interesting and some thing I would describe with a whole other set of adjectives. It all comes with the expat package. Getting used to sand everywhere is one thing and learning how to be extremely spontaneous is another one. When I tell people that we plan our vacations depending on the moon they usually don’t believe me but this is actually the reality.

After several years in the Middle East region I have learnt that the moon is my friend and that I have to patiently wait for him to show his face in a way that remind me of the beginning of a date night with my husband. Will he be ready to come out today? Or will it be tomorrow? Will he be full or half? Thankfully my husband always shows up in full.

Most planning looks like above. Doesn’t matter if it’s corporate or a school, you won’t know your holidays until a few days before. And you thought it was difficult to plan vacation every year? Try booking a trip over the Eid celebration (holidays after Ramadan) which is usually three days, when you don’t know when they will fall exactly. You might be lucky and you have booked your flight perfectly on the day you are off (the moon is on your side) but if you are not, you better hope you have vacation days left and that your boss will approve them.

The holidays are announced publicly online a day or two before they are suppose to start depending on the lunar sighting.

Vomit on my foot and tell me that you love me

Happy weekend ya’all! Hope it’s relaxing and fun and whatever. Enjoy it while it last. I’m speaking from the future. Mine is already over as we work Sundays to Thursdays in this part of the world. Actually crazy Saudi Arabia has weekends on Thursdays and Fridays.

Yesterday I was hanging out with a little missy that vomited on my foot. It was warm and nice and I took a picture of course. The suspect is in the background. Parents take nice pictures and share. I guess the kind of pictures you sent to each other as couples change through the years. It’s used to be oh, hey look at my ass. Now it’s more Oh, my god babe, did you see this poop explosion she had in the mall. Must be a world record. What’s for dinner tonight? xx.