You are welcome

My friend just had a little baby a few days ago and it’s so fantastic, beautiful and overwhelming. I have therefore prepared some unsolicited advice for new parents. This also goes for babysitters.

Outfit of the day

When you are a viking and want to tell the neighborhood not to mess with you.

Or maybe you live in Dubai and don’t have any proper winter clothes and have to use a hat that your mum might have bought for Masquerade.

Golfing elephant?

My colleague told me she was hanging out with her nephews six and eight years old, during Christmas and they had some good conversations. This one was my favorite

Six year old comes running.

Child: listen.. LISTEN .. I got a joke to tell you.

Adult: Cool, tell me.. TELL me.

Child: WHY does the elephant wear two pairs of pants?

Adult: Hmm.. can it be because he has four legs..?

Child: Noooooooo! Its because he has a hole-in-one!

Adult: Ok.. Did you mean to say why does the GOLFER wear two pairs of pants?

Child: Aaah yeah, damn it.

The picture is of someone (ok me..) that felt like an elephant playing golf. I was four months pregnant and felt h u g e. Funny to look back at it now and think that I had no clue how good I looked there and elephant size was about to come. This was more like chubby little dog compared to a few months later.

How babies express love

Sometimes my child looks at me like she wants to chew my face. I take it as she is hungry or a new tooth is coming. Or she is a sociopath. She has so much from her dad. 

She has a new hobby that we call The Hook and it’s goes a little something like this:

You need one big nose (an adult will do). One baby fist with long finger nails that nobody dares to cut. The baby sits just above your head as you lay down and her fingers goes in to your nose and gets STUCK. It’s called lock and pull. Baby now pulls her fingers upwards against herself making you look like a pig in pain. This is extremely fun to watch if you are like me and get very entertained by other people getting hurt. 

And then we just have the normal nose grab. When you think you go in for a cuddle and want to take a cute picture. Occasionally you get a foot in your face at the same time.

Who’s that?

There is so much pressure on parents. We need to be role models, not swear too much, create routines and most importantly teach our children how to take a selfie. This is something our parents didn’t have to do and see how we turned out. Amazingly normal and incredibly beautiful but anyway..

Will the next generation love technology or hate it? Will they turn all the gadgets off and go live in tree houses? I doubt they will know how to build one. Or they’ll just google it. 


Who is that in the phone? 

Do I have something on my face

When going to a place that is called “Butterfly garden” normally you would be prepared that there will be…that is right, butterflies! We went on a little adventure yesterday to something I thought I would enjoy with my daughter and some friends but it turned out I couldn’t stop waving my hands around. Fuckin’ hell, they were everywhere. In my face, on my back, on my head, was that one flying up under my skirt? Aaah…                           And at the same time I tried my best not to leave the place being a butterfly killer.

We got used to them after a while but we did leave some casualties behind. We didn’t mean to but being a baby and grabbing things, you might just get hold of a pair of wings and ooooops, we are so sorry mister butterfly. We accidentally shortened your three days long life to one.

butterfly

Today’s casual outfit: Butterfly and suspicious baby

Little puppy eats purée 

I guess we are a family that have problems with distinguishing the main differences between pets and babies. As I previously wrote this week we mixed up their vaccination cards. I think that might have been the start to the identity crise of our baby who is now eating like the dog. 


Lick up those carrots like there is no tomorrow. In a few months you will be able to chase your own tail.