Pour some sugar upon me

I have never wanted to eat my own feet as much as I wanted today. Actually. I don’t really like feet that much but anything can get yummy with a little bit of sugar on it.

So I went for a pedicure and to my surprise there was a Feet Menu. Of course there’s a Feet Menu! Why didn’t I ever think of that. I was trying to choose between Monster or Snowman pedicure but I ended up with a Candyman pedicure because I was hungry.

I don’t know if this is Dubai thing or if anyone else had the experience of turning your feet in to candy and ice cream? I was scared to go home afterwards thinking my dog might eat me. I was seriously delicious.

Welcome to the party

My colleagues sister is expecting her first child in the end of June and the other day she told me that her sister is currently looking for a diaper bag, stroller and a good caterer to bring food to the hospital.Wait.. what? I was sure I heard wrong.

She said, no, you heard right. Here in the United Arab Emirates, we order food to the hospital as part of our birth plan. Holy f***! I told her, in Sweden you are not even allowed to enter the ward as we protect our little babies against any kind of infections and here you guys throw a party?

She explained that before the child arrives they choose the hospital to give birth at and make sure that they upgrade to the biggest room (I know… upgrade! Its Dubai folks! Of course its possible!) to ensure as many people as possible can fit. After all you want everyone to visit you at the hospital and that way you know you don’t have to entertain them when you get home.

After choosing a good hospital, room and which kind of food they want people to nibble on while you lay there with a sore everything and wish they would go away, you have to choose decoration – balloons, flowers and give aways. Obviously people don’t want to leave without a goody bag right?

After all you don’t want there to be too much space to hang out. This way you can make sure that people wont stay long as there is not much room.

I buy, I eat

Happy Easter folks! How are you celebrating?

For us in Dubai, Easter is like celebrating at home but slightly warmer. Hiding chocolate eggs in the garden requires precision and fast kids in order to avoid any melting disappointments.

And on that subject. Disappointment. My husband came home the other day with a box of chocolate and was bragging about what a gentleman he is, getting me an Easter and all. He smiled at me while he carried it in to the kitchen. “For you my love”.

Now you are thinking, how thoughtful he is.

So did I. Until this morning when I discovered this:

I looked up and over at my husband and asked him what happened.. He just said “I saved you some”.

A little roll

When you live in a very sunny country and you just want your child to wear the damn sunglasses. Obviously she is taking them off all the time to throw them somewhere or to eat them. Solution? A baby spring roll!

No hands were hurt in the making of this picture.

Yes, its slightly cold in the mornings. Around 20 degrees C (68 ish Fahrenheit). And yes, we can’t survive low temperatures anymore. The desert has weakened us.

A cold break

We have been to the North Pole the last week. Or maybe it was just Sweden but due to our lack of socks and winter clothes in general, it felt like we had been taken to the deepest part of Siberia. I also noticed that it’s when you put jeans on that you realize how fat you actually are. Can I still blame pregnancy kilos a year after the child was born?

It’s always great to go home when you are living abroad. You get to meet everyone that you miss so dearly and after a few days you also remember why you don’t live there anymore (just joking, mum). But when you come from a part of the world that is as dark as under a shoe during the winter and you can’t feel your thoughts after ten minutes of being outside, it’s not so strange that you decide to reside slightly more south. I still think snow is cozy. Too look at. In pictures. On my phone from a beach in Dubai.

This picture sums up my week. Not only did it take an hour to get dressed to go outside but once coming inside again, I couldn’t get out of my jacket either. Luckily I had mama friends that are used to zippers being stuck and saving three year olds from these scenarios. I would say mums are just as handy to have with you anywhere you go as doctors are. Clearly God was shining his light on me as well. Something like “Go towards the light” came in to mind but I resisted the urge. I have so much to live for. It was just a jacket, God! Yes, I did feel like I was going to suffocate but I thought “today is not the day”.

And then we had sushi and drank wine.

Outfit of the day

When you are a viking and want to tell the neighborhood not to mess with you.

Or maybe you live in Dubai and don’t have any proper winter clothes and have to use a hat that your mum might have bought for Masquerade.

A little bit of mooning

There are several interesting challenges with living in the ME. Some stuff are really interesting and some thing I would describe with a whole other set of adjectives. It all comes with the expat package. Getting used to sand everywhere is one thing and learning how to be extremely spontaneous is another one. When I tell people that we plan our vacations depending on the moon they usually don’t believe me but this is actually the reality.

After several years in the Middle East region I have learnt that the moon is my friend and that I have to patiently wait for him to show his face in a way that remind me of the beginning of a date night with my husband. Will he be ready to come out today? Or will it be tomorrow? Will he be full or half? Thankfully my husband always shows up in full.

Most planning looks like above. Doesn’t matter if it’s corporate or a school, you won’t know your holidays until a few days before. And you thought it was difficult to plan vacation every year? Try booking a trip over the Eid celebration (holidays after Ramadan) which is usually three days, when you don’t know when they will fall exactly. You might be lucky and you have booked your flight perfectly on the day you are off (the moon is on your side) but if you are not, you better hope you have vacation days left and that your boss will approve them.

The holidays are announced publicly online a day or two before they are suppose to start depending on the lunar sighting.

Golfing elephant?

My colleague told me she was hanging out with her nephews six and eight years old, during Christmas and they had some good conversations. This one was my favorite

Six year old comes running.

Child: listen.. LISTEN .. I got a joke to tell you.

Adult: Cool, tell me.. TELL me.

Child: WHY does the elephant wear two pairs of pants?

Adult: Hmm.. can it be because he has four legs..?

Child: Noooooooo! Its because he has a hole-in-one!

Adult: Ok.. Did you mean to say why does the GOLFER wear two pairs of pants?

Child: Aaah yeah, damn it.

The picture is of someone (ok me..) that felt like an elephant playing golf. I was four months pregnant and felt h u g e. Funny to look back at it now and think that I had no clue how good I looked there and elephant size was about to come. This was more like chubby little dog compared to a few months later.

Happy Birthday UAE!

Isn’t it awesome when you arrive at work and the first thing that you meet is a horse. I wish that happened every day. I would love to have a little pony next to my desk and just have a conversation with him now and then. Give him a carrot or just braid his tail.

Today was UAE National day celebration. Well it’s actually tomorrow officially but that’s a day off. We all dressed up in National outfits and did everything except for working. Best day ever!

I had a hard time navigating myself with my abaya. I got stuck in doors, stepped on in, rolled my chair over it and couldn’t stand up, discovered why women take them off before going to the toilet. Learnt a lot today.. Tomorrow this young nation turns 46 years old. The stuff this country has gone through in just such a short time is unbelievable. Twenty years ago this was pretty much just sand. And today… it’s just wow! If you haven’t been to Dubai, come and visit. I promise to meet you with a horse. Or camel.