* Public service announcement for sensitive people. This post contains poop. If you are eating, please continue to read *
Ignore that. It was me being mean. The poop part is true though. I therefore put in a nice picture of flower. To start of positive. You can stop reading now and enjoy your day. If you are feeling brave. Please continue.
One of the exciting new things that you get to experience as a new parent is the presence of poop. Discussions of poop. And smelling of poop. Before I had children I would wonder about the obsession from parents about this subject and the extremely annoying smelling of the babies butt.
Without giving away too many details, this is now my reality. Yesterday during a barbecue my husband smelled my daughters butt about five times during two minutes. Just to make sure. Was there something? Maybe. Maybe not? But I’m sure I smelled something. Or was it just a fart? It was like a freakin wine tasting with a twist.
To add to my life of poop, I adopted a rescue dog from the streets of Dubai. Well, I found her under a car, shaking like a little leaf, is more like the truth. After a few days she decided to come out. I saw she had a heart shape pattern on her forehead and decided she was mine. That’s adoption. I think.
This morning when I was walking with my baby in the stroller. Who just had a change of pajama as she needed to poop all over herself just before we left the house for the walk. My dog suddenly decided to squat down doggie style right outside a huge mansion with a design of absolutely – nothing – except – gold – is – good – as a drive way theme. Yeah, it’s a Dubai thing. Believe me, you can find anything here. A house a few streets down has a water slide from the first floor down to the pool. Now that’s a quick wake up for you folks (I decided it’s a bedroom next to the start of the slide).
My dear dog decided to do an impressive pile of yellow diarrhea right on the drive way, just at the same time as I noticed I didn’t have any poop bags with me. I had to take a small ziplock bag which I had a sandwich in, remove the content and stick my hand in. The bag was too small for my hand. The poop was not solid enough to stay in the bag. Everything was becoming a mess and I was trying my best to turn the bag inside out, it all ended up on my hand. I made a noice. I think it’s the same noice people do before they die. And left my child and dog standing looking at me, I ran for the closest garbage bin and got rid of the bag. I saw a trail of poop had followed me the whole way. If I would faint someone would be able to follow the trace to a beaten human being. Beaten by poop.
We left the crime scene even messier than I found it. There was nothing I could do. I noticed the smell was still there and I looked down and saw that the handle of the dogs leash was still covered in poo from my hand and it was now all over the stroller as well. I took out all 500 wipes and started cleaning. After a package of wipes I was defeated. The smell had to stay. We walked home.
And the time was 650 am. Another great day has started.
The guilty one. Don’t believe her innocent eyes. She can poop like a whole zoo.