Mumz thug life

What happened? Is it Christmas yet?

Time sure flies when you have zero time for yourself. That’s not true though. I am just trying to sound like a martyr. I had a week with friends from Sweden when I ran away from husbands and kids and went wild and drank and fought and destroyed places. As you do.

Or maybe we just laid on our sun loungers in front of a massive pool and enjoyed not having to chase anyone around.

Here is a picture from Halloween. Ok, it’s the day after when I was hiding in the bathroom to eat all the candy my child had managed to collect. Think about all those chocking hazards! Better I eat it all. I have fat reserves to maintain for the winter.

My brain and body are not on speaking terms

Its the small things that does it..

Like during this week I was so amazed that my nail polish lasted forever and ever. No, there might not be so much excitement going on right now so maybe I’m a little bit easy to entertain..

Anyway, my nail polish was kind of chipping off but I couldn’t remove it. I even tried with nail polish remover and I was amazed! It didn’t even start to become soft. Omg! I had a normal manicure but I paid for a normal one and it lasted kind of like a shellac. Amazeballs! Then I realized I tried to remove my nail polish with makeup remover.

Good news was that it was actually a whole lot better than the three times (yes, I’m a slow learner apparently) I did the other way around, I tried to remove my makeup with the nail polish remover.

Yes, it stings.

A lot.

Oh brain, where are thou.

But I still mean it

I don’t know if Bette Midler said this or if it was the Pope. Just don’t known with the internet these days (and peoples preference in women clothing). Really love the thought though. Who is right when it comes what someone else looks like anyway. Why do we always have to dress and look the same?

* sneaks away to H&M and buy the exact same clothes as that hot woman at work wore the other day and think thank god for mass production so the prices can be kept low *

Sit still and smile for the camera

There are several photographers out there that are focusing on family photos.

“Great memory guaranteed”..

“Capture the moment”

I say it sounds very good. I would also say it doesn’t necessarily look that way.

But who am I to judge. Maybe other people have kids that sits still and smiles.

Oh, hello there! I’ve missed you, dear reader..

Apparently I haven’t written anything here for six months:ish. This thing happened called baby, or rather second child syndrome maybe. Going from one child to two felt like going from one child to a school class. Then adding a full time job in to the equation and I get it. I get it why sometimes months fly by and you don’t hear from friends with kids. I felt busy having one but this is a different dimension.

The little boy hasn’t been a big fan of sleeping. During the sleep regression I asked my boss if I could by a little hammock but it still hasn’t been approved :

New sentences that are commonly used in our house nowadays:

– Don’t lick the baby! (To dog)

– Don’t lick the dog! (To baby)

– Don’t lick your shoes! (To toddler)

– Stop blaming grandma for the poop in the corner! (To husband)

The last one may or may not be true.

Anyway, nice to be back. What have you been up to?

Stranger things in my pants

Getting dressed these days is quiet a challenge specially anything that goes below my waist. I only got four weeks left until baby pops (because that’s what he will do…) out. I could just leave it as I can’t really see this part of my body anyway. And if I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist..according to scientists.

The other day I was wearing a hairband around my wrist. I managed to get myself in to a pair of panty hoses and was super proud until I felt something super tight on my thigh.

The hairband has transferred itself from my wrist to my thigh. It’s a great place to keep it if you don’t want to lose your hairband but tricky to pull out in a meeting when you suddenly want a pony tail.

Yes, I’m naked on the second picture.

Celebrate your pee

When you are an adult (how did that happened?) It’s important to appreciate the small things in life which is easily forgotten. Going to the toilet for example. I would say that’s a pretty cool thing. The body is like “naah, had enough of that” or “too much of this”, “Seriously, another beer? I’m gonna make you suffer”.

Since January we have toilet trained our daughter and it’s been rather interesting. It felt like living on the edge in some kind of adventure movie where you just never know what will come at you every other minute. In one hand a mop and the other a potty and you just repeat “pee?” every second of the waking hour until you think that’s a full sentence. You even greet your husband when he comes out from the bathroom with a “pee, pee?”

The positive thing though is that I get big applause and a high five every time she comes with me to the toilet and I pee. She looks at me with big eyes and when she hears the drops she spins around, yells “yeay” and does a little dance for me. I really enjoy peeing now. I’m so happy someone is happy for me.

Now just need to find someone in the office that does the same thing but they are just not that grateful. Yet.