My brain and body are not on speaking terms

Its the small things that does it..

Like during this week I was so amazed that my nail polish lasted forever and ever. No, there might not be so much excitement going on right now so maybe I’m a little bit easy to entertain..

Anyway, my nail polish was kind of chipping off but I couldn’t remove it. I even tried with nail polish remover and I was amazed! It didn’t even start to become soft. Omg! I had a normal manicure but I paid for a normal one and it lasted kind of like a shellac. Amazeballs! Then I realized I tried to remove my nail polish with makeup remover.

Good news was that it was actually a whole lot better than the three times (yes, I’m a slow learner apparently) I did the other way around, I tried to remove my makeup with the nail polish remover.

Yes, it stings.

A lot.

Oh brain, where are thou.

Oh, hello there! I’ve missed you, dear reader..

Apparently I haven’t written anything here for six months:ish. This thing happened called baby, or rather second child syndrome maybe. Going from one child to two felt like going from one child to a school class. Then adding a full time job in to the equation and I get it. I get it why sometimes months fly by and you don’t hear from friends with kids. I felt busy having one but this is a different dimension.

The little boy hasn’t been a big fan of sleeping. During the sleep regression I asked my boss if I could by a little hammock but it still hasn’t been approved :

New sentences that are commonly used in our house nowadays:

– Don’t lick the baby! (To dog)

– Don’t lick the dog! (To baby)

– Don’t lick your shoes! (To toddler)

– Stop blaming grandma for the poop in the corner! (To husband)

The last one may or may not be true.

Anyway, nice to be back. What have you been up to?

Just a movie and my working day would be complete

I’m pretty sure that my unborn child will have a slight smell of buttery popcorn when he comes out.

This is what my desk at work looks like every afternoon. The days I forget to bring popcorn, my colleagues does it for me. I’m surrounded by feeders.

Try to eat it

English is not my mother tongue and even though I have lived abroad for several years the Swedish accent comes out of hiding every now and then. Usually like a little kinder surprise.

When I came back to Dubai after my vacation in Sweden last month, I had bought the cutes moose keychain souvenirs. It was a warning sign of a moose running over the street. We have them everywhere on the roads in Sweden. I bought one each for my colleagues in the department as they think it’s exotic. Or so I thought.

One of my colleagues that had been in a meeting the morning when I came back, suddenly came skipping towards me saying “I’m so excited about the moose you got us. Makes the start of the week so much better.” Ok, that’s great, I thought. Some people are just very happy to get souvenirs. I took the little moose out of the bag and gave it to him and just looked at me like a questionmark. “What is that”? He asked. “It’s the freakin moose you were so excited about” I said.

He looked at me sad and said “I thought you meant chocolate mousse!”

Ungrateful little shit…

Naughty penguin of the month

I sent the below picture to my boss as an example of what I would like to have in the office to encourage good manners and point out bad behavior. I haven’t received any reply back yet. I’m aiming for the good penguin award of the month and I’m really excited about my award. It’s probably a raw fish. I’m Scandinavian (meaning viking, meaning sailor) so obviously that would be the highlight of the year. Fish is life.

You are in trouble, Timmy…

Golfing elephant?

My colleague told me she was hanging out with her nephews six and eight years old, during Christmas and they had some good conversations. This one was my favorite

Six year old comes running.

Child: listen.. LISTEN .. I got a joke to tell you.

Adult: Cool, tell me.. TELL me.

Child: WHY does the elephant wear two pairs of pants?

Adult: Hmm.. can it be because he has four legs..?

Child: Noooooooo! Its because he has a hole-in-one!

Adult: Ok.. Did you mean to say why does the GOLFER wear two pairs of pants?

Child: Aaah yeah, damn it.

The picture is of someone (ok me..) that felt like an elephant playing golf. I was four months pregnant and felt h u g e. Funny to look back at it now and think that I had no clue how good I looked there and elephant size was about to come. This was more like chubby little dog compared to a few months later.

Happy New (food) year

Happy New Year all! Did you learn anything 2017? No, probably not right. Nothing much more than everyone is stressing about ripples and bitcoin and what else I couldn’t care less about. Everyone is my office is running around like they got fire in their asses, yelling out random numbers, buy…sell… yo, shuv it up your….

I didn’t mean to sound negative but yeah, I did. And I just had a very bad lunch. I normally sit two hours before lunch and fantasize about how good it will be (how sad is this?) and then I ended up with a dry freakin sandwich which made me think it was made in the desert…. oh, wait…. it was.

A few of my colleagues are also comparing tattoos. They are all symbols of something meaningful like a dragon for some Chinese dude (yes, surprise right!), one has a tree that symbolize the state she is from and someone has their flag. I just feel that all tattoos are “taken” BUT if we are all inking symbols then I’m doing a Swedish meatball. Or mint ice cream.

Because food is everything.

Just a Thursday

Today we went for a school trip, as I like to call it. At work they call it “building a professional business case by shadowing a well known and complex operation”… but who can say that anyway. Therefore school trip it is.

I sat next to one of our awesome ladies from the Philippines who told me that hours after she was born, a gecko fell down from the roof and landed on her forehead. Her mum that’s was holding her in her arms was petrified and just starred at it for about a minute before it decided to move. My colleague explained to me that she was convinced this meant good luck and that she is the lucky charm in the family due to this. I explained that if it happened in Sweden the hospital would be in lock down.

On a totally different note… This is a picture of a mince pie. Well half of it as the other part is in my belly. It was a rather interesting discovery today to notice that mince pie is not with meat but dried fruit. I wish someone would have warned me. My mouth wasn’t ready for that kind of shock.